I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I love black thongs
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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