Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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