Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
