A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
