I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
