K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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