There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
