I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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