let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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