I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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