take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
