im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
