so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
