Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
