How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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