i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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