he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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