I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
