He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize