Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize