This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
