...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
