I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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