This girl is more easily done than said...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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