That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
