I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
