Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
