Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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