Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
