You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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