she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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