Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
