if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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