Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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