You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
