check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
