her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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