4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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