You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
