Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
