you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
