My hair reeks of homosexuality.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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