He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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