So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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