What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
