I wish i was in the wii world.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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