Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I will pee on everything he values.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize