You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
