I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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