you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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