I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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