yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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