OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
