singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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