no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
