if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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