I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
