Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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