please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
